Arsemonger's Qype profile

I saw a leaflet for the Puzzling Place during a stay in the Lakes, and thought it looked interesting but maybe a bit rubbish, but we were going somewhere via Keswick so we decided to pop in.

It was brilliant. Entry was £3.50 per adult and we ended up having to rush at the end because the car park was about to run out - we didn’t know we’d be spending nearly an hour there!

The illusions are really interesting and very well presented, with an explanation of each. The shop is good as well, containing loads of brilliant gifts.

If you’re in Keswick then definitely give the Puzzling Place a go, you won’t be disappointed.

Sarah Nelson’s gingerbread shop is a very quaint little shop in Grasmere - it’s tiny and gets very busy in summer, but it’s definitely worth a visit. I’ve never tasted gingerbread like this before - the texture is very different to the usual stuff you’ll get in the supermarket.

The gingerbread is reasonably priced and makes a great gift for family and friends on your return from the Lakes. Grasmere itself is very pretty and is also home to Dove Cottage, one of Wordsworth’s homes.

Villa Positano was recommended to me by a taxi driver on a recent stay near Bowness and it didn’t disappoint. The decor is an ecclectic collection of Italian memorabilia and the staff are all Italian themselves.

The food was superb. I had garlic bread, cannelloni and profiteroles, my finace had minestrone soup, creamy chicken & mushrooms and an ice cream based dessert. Everything was cooked to perfection and service was quick and efficient. With drinks, the bill came to £41.80.

Although it was a Monday night in February, the restaurant was fairly busy and the atmosphere was good. A family with young children was just leaving as we arrived, and the staff had given the children some toy cars to play with - a Fiat 500 and a Ferrari, of course - and the children seemed to be welcomed as much as the adults.

Villa Positano is tucked away down an alley, so may be tricky to find, but it’s well worth a visit if you find it!

The Famous Wild Boar hotel is situated about 2 miles from Windermere. It owes its name to a local tale of a wild boar that terrorised locals until it was slain by a local hero.

The hotel itself is a lovely old building, though it seems to have been heavily extended with some typically bland 60s architecture - unfortunately this is the view you’re presented with when you park in the rear car park before heading to reception. Don’t be put off though, the main part of the hotel is wooden beams, low ceilings and very well decorated throughout and sitting in the lounge by the fire after a day of walking is very cosy.

The staff are friendly and welcoming and no request was too much for them. I proposed to my girlfriend one day during our stay and when we told the staff we were given two glasses of champagne on the house with our dinner.

As the hotel is part of the English Lakes Hotels family, staying here entitles you to use the leisure facilities at Low Wood hotel - we didn’t take advantage, but looking at the reviews on Qype, this sounds like a good deal.

The restaurant is a little on the formal side initially, but the food is excellent. The menu is slightly limited for choice, so you wouldn’t want to eat here every night during your stay, but it’s definitely worth trying at least once. Two courses and a bottle of wine for two came to £40, so the prices are more than reasonable.

The hotel isn’t walking distance from any pubs or restaurants, but we got a taxi into nearby Bowness one evening and this cost £6.50 each way. Bowness has several nice looking restaurants and we struggled to narrow it down to one.

Windermere is well situated for many of the Lake District’s attractions, so if you want to sample the area without driving for more than an hour, this hotel is well placed. We visited Keswick, Ullswater & Grasmere in one day and Ambleside & Grizedale Forest another without spending all the time in the car.

The nicest two for one pub I’ve eaten in. They tend to be full of pikeys with screaming kids (who they in turn scream at,) but the Woodcocks is a much more civilised affair. I’ve been several times at lunch as I work in Burton Waters and have always found the service excellent and it never takes a full hour to get served and get back to the office.

I’ve eaten here in the evening once and it was superb. The food was great and the service was a cut above - I’d normally expect to order at the bar, but it was full table service with a very friendly and helpful waiter.

I had Wensleydale chicken which was delicious and my girlfriend had an Angus burger which she reported was fantastic. With a drink and desert each the whole meal came to just over £20 - I’ll definitely go back.

A cool bar in the uphill part of town. It’s on the expensive side and gets packed on a Friday or Saturday evening, but if you get there early on it’s a nice place to have a couple of drinks before moving on.

The decor and furnishings are very modern and the music is trendy, bordering on obscure, although maybe a little on the loud side for civilised conversation.

The clientele seemed to be OK when I went in, perhaps a little pretentious, but unlikely to get leathered and fight anyone which is something of a bonus.

Viela is a Brazilian restaurant that offers a fixed price BBQ banquet. At £19.50 a head (cheaper at lunchtime,) it’s quite pricey, but you get a lot for your money.

After bread & olives and a trip to the salad bar, the chefs start to come round to the tables with freshly cooked meat on a large skewer, which they then carve and serve to you at your table. There’s 8 or so different meats, brought round at different times so you get to try everything, and as soon as your plate’s empty there’s another on its way.

The meats are gammon, chicken, beef, lamb, rump steak, meat kebabs, chicken hearts & sausages - though I may have forgotten one or two. There’s a vegetarian option too which is a little cheaper, but I don’t know what is on offer.

The staff are friendly, though when I went could have been more attentive, and the atmosphere is good. The building itself is interesting - sloping walls & wooden beams, not quite fitting with the Brazilian theme, but nice nevertheless!

It’s a fun experience and you’re sure to be full up, but I’m not sure it’s one I’d go to regularly - the price sees to that. Definitely worth a look for a special occasion though.

Eskimoo is a milkshake parlour like you’ve never seen before. Forget the usual chocolate, strawberry & vanilla flavours and try one made with just about any chocolate bar or sweet you can imagine. Crunchie, Dime Bar, Wispa, Battenburg, Skittles, Nutrigrain bars… it’s all there.

Milkshakes made with one of the sweets from the extensive list on the wall cost under £3, while one of ten or so 'specials’ go for £4. Or if you’re in need of a boost, try the 'shake awake’... skittles, refreshers & redbull instead of milk - as Eskimoo themselves claim, enough E numbers to shake any student awake!

The only downfall is the attitude of the guy who owns / runs the place. Hearing him shouting at his staff takes the enjoyment out of your visit and he is in sore need of some customer service training. The other problem is that there’s nowhere to sit inside, it’s takeaway only.

Other than that, it’s a fantastic place to drop in for a milkshake while you’re shopping that’s different and quirky.

Living on Doddington Park, it’s a choice between The Black Swan and the Wildlife. So the Wildlife wins by default.

It’s very much a social club vibe, but for a cheeky pint in the afternoon, as long as you don’t want any conversation with anyone apart from those in your party, it’s not too bad.

There tend to be a lot of children running around and the parents are a bit too engrossed in their alcopops to control them though.

Pulse / Ritzy / Jumpin Jak’s - three clubs in one building. How could you go wrong?

Well, you can charge people a lot to get in - £7 if I remember correctly - then have expensive drinks. Rude staff and a pikey customer base would help too.

The top floor is Pulse which plays R n B and is where most of the slappers go. I was chatted up in here by a mental girl telling me about how she’d been to a psychic who said her Gran was going to die soon and I had to run away when she turned to speak to her friends.

The middle floor is Ritzy and plays current chart based dance rubbish. This is where the lads in Ben Sherman and Hackett shirts go and look threatening at people who walk near them.

The ground floor is Jumpin’ Jaks, which plays rock n roll & wedding disco music. This could be fun, except it’s where the 50 year old slags go and grab young men’s asses. The floors are sticky too.

Last time I tried to go, one of our party was told by the bouncer that he was too drunk to come in (not sure how he arrived at this conclusion as my friend was not acting any differently to the others.) Rather than argue with the doorman we thought fair enough and went to leave. The two others in the group had already paid and were about to head in though.

We ended up having to wait for fifteen minutes to make the dimwitted manager understand that they’d paid but hadn’t actually been in. Eventually they got their money back and we went to Scream which was much more fun.