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When I last had a business trip to the area, my old boss told me I should treat myself to a pricey dinner at La Bonne Table.

“So it’s good?”

“Yes. If you like seafood. Oh, and do say hello to the waitress for me.”

Well, I love seafood, and I love expensed meals, so I made my way there, walking through what look like the doors you’d find on an old boat, into a dining room with a very nautical theme. Alongside more decor reminiscent of an old seafaring ship, the dining room is also anachronistically decorated with modern materials that might be more comfortable on an ultra-luxury yacht.

The mélange of mismatched nautical decor screams “boat freak” more than “restauranteur,” but the management’s time at sea shows in the great quality of their seafood.

Openers include the fantastic langoustine/foie gras terrine, and for a seasonal main, you can’t go wrong with the scallops - gigantic and delicious, justifying the regional ban on collecting these shells when they’re not in season.

And while my boss and I may disagree on taste in women (he thinks Nicole Kidman is ugly and has a big head, I think she’s the hotness) we find common ground in thinking that the lovely, friendly, and elegant hostess/waitress at La Bonne Table is one of the most enchanting women in Clichy.

Ok, that may not be saying much, but the food and service here are worth your time. The décor, ummm… well, I hope you like boats!

Update 13 Jan 2009

After a recent visit, it seems La Bonne Table has updated its décor. While I miss the old-timey charm of the nautical elements that made me want to sing a shanty and swab the deck, the more modern interior is more inline with the somewhat upmarket menu prices. Food and service are as great as ever.

“Sous nouvelle direction”, comme la bannière annonce devant, Garçon a bien amelioré sa carte, son équipe, et sa qualité. Le service est bien plus amiable et on a enfin une formule déjeuner.

Après plusieurs mois de déclin régulier, je peux recommander Garcon pour un déjeuner occasionnel entre les collègues. Un bon endroit à dépenser les tickets resto.

A solid lunch at a solid price. No frills at all, but for a baseline brasserie meal, you can’t really go wrong.

Normally I’d say more, but I’m not exactly moved to tears by the place, nor livid at any aspect. Ummm… Free wi-fi!?

Update: 13 Jan 2009

I stopped going to Garçon since I reviewed it, as service had dropped off to be nearly non-existent, the quality of food closely resembling that of garbage, and really no reason to go back.

But the masochist within me (and the lack of dining variety in Clichy) pushed me back to Garçon, where I was surprised to see a big “Under New Management” banner and a rejuvenated menu featuring dishes I actually want to eat.

Beyond that, service is now very fast (almost ridiculously so, but not in a bad way), prices are more reasonable and they have introduced some decent lunch formules, something sorely lacking in this neck of the woods.

Attention visitors and newcomers to Paris: The little Marché des Ternes, while cute and charming, is a bit dull and boring. If you’re looking for that awesome Parisian market experience, you’d be better served going to the covered market at Place Aligre or the massive open-air market at Marché de la Bastille.

That said, the Marché des Ternes provides a peaceful, calm atmosphere to pick up your meats, fruits, vegetables, cheeses and seafood, sold by friendly merchants.

It’s much more a neighborhood market than a destination, a nice alternative to doing your daily shopping at the supermarket.

Now if only they had a liquor aisle…

Pendant presque quelques mois que j’ai habité après le coin de ce marché, mais je n’ai pas su. Comme le quartier, le Marché des Ternes est calme, tranquille… et tout à fait enneyeux.

Mais les négociants sont très gentils, la qualité des produits est très bonne, et c’est beaucoup moins serrée que d’autres marchés parisiens.

C’est pas une destination, mais un marché fiable pour la voisinage.

Despite the fabulous location and friendly service, this is a pretty lousy place to get a crêpe.

Naturally, the crêpe is a northern dish, and this is the south, so what do you expect? At a tourist trap, at that!

Not to say that you can’t get a good crêpe in the south - on the contrary, you can get good food from any part of France (or Spain or Italy or Africa) in Montpellier. Just don’t expect to find it in the middle of the Place de la Comédie, and certainly don’t expect reasonable prices…

Une amie américaine était en France pour les vacances, et nous nous sommes réunis pour passer quelques jours à Montpellier.

“Tandis que je suis en France, je voudrais manger une crêpe !” elle a dit.

“Euuuh… mais la crêpe est un aliment breton,” je lui ai dit. “Je ne pense pas que c’est fait bien ici.”

Elle était insouciante, ainsi nous sommes allés à ce creperie, au milieu de la Place de la Comédie. Et comme un prévoit à un endroit de touristes, les crêpes étaient… MEH. Pas mal, mais pas l’exemple de la cuisine française que j’ai voulu que mon ami se rappelât.

Bien que le service est sympa et l’emplacement est fabuleux, les prix et les crêpes n’ont pas lieu en valeur votre temps.

If you’re looking for the best steak-frites in Paris, congratulations. You’ve found it! Unfortunately, hundreds of other visitors to the City of Lights find it every day, too, right here at Le Relais de Venise.

It’s lovingly called l’Entrecôte, after the one and only dish they serve, a delightfully tender, absolutely flavorful rib steak, served with remarkably fresh, crispy frites, topped off with a fantastic sauce whose recipe is one of the best-kept trade secrets around.

There are numerous other Entrecôtes around town and throughout France (and even the world), but save for this one (as well as its new branches in London and Barcelona), they are knockoffs. The others aren’t bad at all, but this one is truly the one to go to, what with its higher quality, traditionally dressed wait staff (who can really resist a French maid’s outfit?), and ridiculously streamlined menu.

Of course, you do have choices - you can select your wine, as well as a good variety of desserts. But the star here is the steak, cooked perfectly to your liking (I suggest à point, which is medium, or what would in the US be considered a bloody medium-rare), and have I mentioned the sauce?

Le Relais de Venise takes no reservations, so expect to queue up for a solid 30 minutes at peak dinner times with a hundred of your closest sock-and-sandal tourist friends, but since they just keep cranking out the same dish, you will be served a freshly-prepared meal in record time.

Oh, and one other thing - don’t get too upset by the small portion of steak and fries you’re initially served. The come around with seconds!

Quand j’ai déménagé au 17e, la propriétaire de mon appart m’a donné des avis. Un de ces avis était : “Si vous voulez le meilleur steak-frites, allez là !”

Meh … Je suis déja allé chez l’Entrecôte deux fois, et j’ai pensé qu’il était très bon, mais le meilleur ? J’ai eu des doutes !

Alors, j’ai appris que cette Entrecôte particulière est la vraie Entrecôte, l’originale que tout le monde veut copier. Donc, j’ai du essayer …

Et le résultat ? C’est vraiment le meilleur steak-frites que j’ai jamais eu. La viande parfaitement à point, les frites brillamment chauds et croustillants … Et la sauce ! Qui n’aime pas la sauce célèbre ???

Malheureusement, le service, quoique très l’amical, est plutôt brusque à cause des centaines de clients qui passent la porte chaque heure. C’est vraiment un piège de touristes, mais qu’est-ce qu’on peut faire ? C’est le prix de manger le meilleur steak-frites à Paris. Avec son profiterole et ses vins bon marchés, Le Relais de Venise (l’Entrecote) offre un excellent repas à un prix raisonnable - en valeur l’attente.

Whilst many of my musings have covered the trials and tribulations of dining in San Francisco, this particular account covers an oft-overlooked lunch-only establishment in the city’s SoMa district to which I was recently invited.

Tucked behind a nondescript gray facade along Howard Street, the Gold Club bills itself as a “Gentlemen’s Club.” I was surprised that a city as self-righteously progressive as San Francisco would be home to such an outdated institution, but I admit that I was happy that a traditional, men’s only luncheon room still exists. With the fairer sex having invaded our country clubs, golf courses, and card games, I was delighted that there is yet an unsullied place where men can be among peers, showcasing their business attire and haberdashery over stiff cocktails and several courses of food.

Donning my most business-like bespoke suit (tailored on Savile Row, of course) and bowler hat, mustache trimmed to perfection, I suddenly found myself overdressed upon entering the establishment. Far from the hommes d’affaires I expected to see, “gentlemen” is the last word that would describe the patronage here. Rather than address anyone as “Lord,” “Doctor,” or “Esquire,” it seemed more appropriate to use the likes of “man” or “dude.” And imagine my surprise that some of the patrons in this so-called gentlemen’s club are women!

Despite the decidedly common class of the “gentlemen” - and presence of women - therein, the Gold Club presents a fine lunch value indeed. For a mere US$5 (GBP2.50 or EU3.20 if you correctly trade in currencies that matter) , you can indulge in a five course meal befitting any well-heeled captain of industry.

The repast begins with a salad of spring greens, topped with optional (and very delightful, I might add) candied walnuts. The dressing is a choice of the staid balsamic vinaigrette and cream-laden ranch varieties. I opted for the vinaigrette and was not disappointed in the least.

As a second course, the chef offers an exotic fried roulade of maize tortilla, ground cote de boeuf, and melted cheese, forming what is known in some avant garde circles as the “Taquito.” Sadly, this “taquito” is not quite as enjoyable to eat as it is to pronounce, as it is lacking in the necessary herbs and spices to bolster its simple flavors.

The taste buds come alive for the third course, a pleasantly sweet and very mildly spiced short rib. Beyond the overall tenderness of the meat, one can expect a highly favorable meat-to-bone ratio. Potential patrons should note: Some of the morsels are a touch overwrought in sauce, a situation that may require additional serviettes to be brought to the table; the side dish of potatoes is conspicuously loaded with garlic, as situation that may require several fistfuls of breath mints.

The Club’s raison d’etre comes in the fourth course: Perfectly sized cuts of chicken breast, fried. Poultry - whilst not on many a chef’s menu but as an afterthought - is a difficult beast. Overcooked, it can be as dry and uninspiring as a five-part series on capital gains taxes in the Wall Street Journal. Undercooked, it can be as vomit-inducing as the image of Julia Child in a singlet. In the hands of the Gold Club, however, it is rightly juicy, croustillant, and delectable. So much so, that I wanted more helpings of this course - and the management obliged by bringing out more, repeatedly, for all the patrons who were equally as impressed.

Lunch ends with a dessert course, comprised of soft, fresh, biscuits au chocolat, commonly referred to in the colonies as “chocolate chip cookies.” Although I was at first disappointed by the overly thin appearance of most of these cookies, one cannot help but be impressed by their sweetness, warmth, and tender nature.

The same could be said of the dancers and their nekkid titties.