jojeba's Qype profile

I too was a lucky #Qypeoween attendee! I’m fascinated by London’s darker history and its bloody underbelly and have been to many of the city’s creepier places to research the goings on of the London of old… So I always thought the London Dungeon would just be a little too cheesy for my liking. However, it has enough scares and gore to prove itself a great entertainment attraction.

NB: I actually fainted on this tour (yes, that was me – sorry if I made anyone jump)! It wasn’t out of fear, although I was certainly spooked throughout the tour… There are a lot of flickering lights and some people were using flash photography, and all the bright flickering lights in the dark rooms made me dizzy. I fainted and hit the stone floor face down! Was quite a scary way to end the tour and I had to go out in an ambulance. Suffered concussion, a lot of bruising and what is now developing into a black eye, but could’ve been much more serious. Do be aware if you suffer from any photosensitivity!! I did feel the Dungeon staff were a little unprepared for such an incident but we spoke about this the next day when they called me to follow up. And I hope if anything my fall has helped them be more organised if anyone else has as incident in future. I am sure I am not the first or the last to faint or fall in there!

Aside from this, the attraction itself is loads of fun, and very creepy – and we only got the abridged version so I am sure there are even more scary bits we missed. One of the creepiest parts was actually the mirror maze… our whole group was reduced to jibbering wrecks! Never knowing what might jump out at you, and reflections round every corner. Plenty of exaggerated gore from London’s darker days, but suitably exciting, and the 5D ride was a lot of fun as well. Really made us all shriek! Thanks to the London Dungeon, and to Qype, for organising the event.

Verdict: Highly entertaining, plenty of scares, and even a little educational. But please follow the rules and don’t use flash photography. It ruins the effects and it’s hard on the eyes of everyone else.

Went on a Friday night after we were given some vouchers as a Christmas present. (About time we used them!) Being a Friday, the front half - where the bar is - was really busy with post-work corporates having drinks. It was very loud, although once further back in the restaurant you regained a sense of separation and privacy. Because of its popularity with after work drinks, recommend making Friday night bookings from 8pm onwards (which is what we did).

Nice big table for two of us, and the service was impeccable. The wait-staff knew everything about the menu and could talk about the ways the dishes were made with clear knowledge. Always reassuring. Never had to top up our own wine, but neither we were fawned over - just right. On top of that, the maitre de very kindly offered us two desserts on the house, which was a great surprise! (For that they've earned that fourth star.)

We had starters of chicken livers with pine nuts and grapes (divine), and a funghi bruschetta (delish). Mains were a fillet steak, and veal chop. Honestly, it was not the greatest steak I've ever had but it wasn't bad, and they cooked it exactly right, which is often the biggest issue with ordering a good chunk of beef. The veal chop was wonderful.

Two starters, two mains and a (lower-end) bottle of wine came to £90, which not even our vouchers could stretch to. It's one of the more expensive meals I've ever had, and I can't see myself spending that much to go back (unless I happen to receive another voucher). The food and service were fantastic, but the venue and ambiance, while perfectly fine, are not quite as "fine dining" as the rest of it tries to be. We did have a really great meal, though, and an enjoyable evening; if that's measure enough for you, then there you go.

Verdict: Expensive, but you'll have an excellent meal. If you're looking for a City restaurant where you can impress clients or perhaps woo the new girl in accounts, and you're happy to fork out, this is a great bet.

We tried to book a table for four, but were told there was no space to book, however, they told us to come down anyway. Confused, we turned up for dinner but were left standing in the tiny entranceway for 10 minutes. The maitre de kept giving us what seemed to be code words and signals - they might as well have been, anyway, as we had no idea what was happening. We tried to get some information: "Can you please just tell us if we have a table, or else we'll find somewhere else." In the end she said "Come back in 20 minutes" (followed by more coded hand signals). So we did.

We were a little put out by all of this but when we returned, we were whisked to a table, and after that Zizzi were able to win us over. The service was fantastic, the food delicioso, and the ambiance was very welcoming. The wait staff were friendly and quick, and the menu was fab. This is a cozier, warmer venue than other Zizzis we've been to (notably the Tower Hill restaurant, which was terrible in every way).

We live close by so will certainly be back again, and so far, we were impressed. We'll just have to make sure we book well in advance to prevent any weird hand signals and "The crow flies at night" stuff.

I'm glad I didn't read any reviews before I went to the Diner, or I may never have gone in. And what a meal I would have missed out on! We came here on a whim, looking for brunch food and curious about the thought of milkshakes. We had to wait 10 mins to get a booth (as we're used to in most places in Shoreditch, so no big deal). The service was absolutely fine in my opinion. Maybe Sundays are less crazy? Certainly the waitresses had a full house to attend to but we never had to wait, and everything came as it should have.

(For the record, those complaining this is not an authentic American diner... you're right it's an American-diner-themed restaurant in East London! Jeez, most Mexican places are nothing like authentic Mexican food and yet everyone still loves to eat there. Let it go).

We started with fries and milkshakes while we waited for our friend to arrive. The fries were fries - nothin' special but just what we wanted - and the milkshakes were heavenly! I love the fact that in addition to your tall glass of milkshake they give you the rest of the shake in the stainless steel cup so you practically get two whole milkshakes! Thick, creamy, lots of flavour... Love love love.

Our friend arrived, and ordered macaroni cheese (tasty, although not life changing, but then - it's mac & cheese), as well as chilli fries; my other half had the Mexican Breakfast and demolished it (he said he'd get it again); and I had the huevos rancheros with the eggs poached. Which was spot on, and only £6.20. Ordering took a lot of deliberation as the menu has so many enticing options. Love that you can also get every side dish you can think of, from hash browns, to french toast. If you like a build-your-own breakfast you can totally do that here.

Despite the place being full and people always coming in looking for a table, we never felt rushed and were there for an hour and a half all up. I was surprised to come home and read the rubbish reviews, however, despite that I will still be going back to The Diner again. I guess I don't expect much from a casual, diner-themed restaurant. Fun, tasty meals for £6-£8, lots of choice, and great milkshakes will do it for me.

From other reviews I was expecting something akin to Wagamama's (ie quick and canteenish), but instead found myself rather impressed by Busaba. Reasonably priced dishes, great presentation, nice vibe, and EVERYTHING was delish. They only lose a star because the sweet potato in my stir fry was a little undercooked (I know - I'm strict), but I love love loved my meal all the same. The table-sharing situation didn't feel intrusive, and the service was good, even when it got busy. Also really nice to see a place be generous with the cashew nuts in the cashew dishes as well. Glorious. Will definitely come back.

Finally, another top contender in our search for the best London brunch! We popped down here on a Sunday and I was already happy with the all-day brunch (to all those cafes who stop serving Sunday brunch before 12, you're missing the point). I had a fantastic eggs royale, and my partner had the salmon gravlax with scrambled eggs. I think the only downfall would be the eggs - not that they weren't tasty, but they seem to have been prepared in an egg machine, rather than the usual way (which creeps me out a little). The poached eggs were flat on one side, like they'd been poached in an egg-mould, and the scrambled eggs looked a little like couscous - bit hard to eat with a fork. However, everything was very tasty, well presented, and there was a great range on the menu. If I had to describe this place in two words I'd say "casual decadence".

I also love that the tables are set with pots of jam and maple syrup as well as salt and pepper, so if you have leftover toast or muffins you can finish them off with something sweet.

The service was spot on and friendly, the vibe was warm and welcoming, and there was no rush. We stayed on for big mugs of fabulous tea while we read the Sunday papers. The dining chairs are like leather armchairs without the arms (so yes, effectively, just chairs)... but it meant we had our great mix of excellent brunch, and lounging with the papers afterwards. Will definitely be going back. Not least because I want to try the pancakes, which looked amazing....

I've been coming here for years, for haircuts, waxing etc. The staff seem to change a fair bit, but then I may only pop in twice a year and overall I've been satisfied enough to return. Most recently I had a really good hair colour there, so I'll continue to come back. One piece of advice - don't be afraid to confirm the cost of treatments up front as sometimes there are extras on top of the website price. They don't always make that clear! But overall the service is friendly and communicative, and the treatments are good enough to have me coming back.

This is one of my favourite places in London, so much so I was wary of reviewing it - it's like my tequila-fuelled little secret! I love the food here... as much as I do love the bastardised Mexican food you get everywhere else these days, this is on another level altogether. The mole enchiladas are delicious - (if you don't believe that chocolate and chicken can go together, this is your chance to be proven wrong) - and everything is just the right portion size to keep you satisfied but without that sickly-cheese-and-guac-overdose feeling one usually gets at Mexican joints. This is light, tasty traditional Mexican food with truly fantastic cocktails and all with great, upbeat service and a positive vibe. The first time I came here I fell in love and if it were only legal I would marry this place.

I'd heard great things about Giant Robot, and so this was our next stop on our Great Brunch Quest. I liked the layout and feel of the diner - all exposed steel beams, cutlery in jars, mezzanine dining space - and while the menu wasn't extensive, it offered an invitingly flexible DIY option, which I love in a breakfast menu.

Sadly, on this occasion the service was abysmal, which let the whole thing down. I can only think, given the good reviews I've read before, that we arrived on A Bad Day. Perhaps most of the wait staff were off sick. Perhaps those who came to work were in training. Something was amiss, and it meant that every table around us had cause for complaint. Meals never arrived, sides never arrived, people were having to get up from their tables to chase their drinks. Everyone was seething and all conversations seemed to be centered on how everything was going wrong.

To be fair, we didn't have it quite so bad - our meals turned up, but we waited 45 minutes for the privilege, and watched other tables arrive and be served before us. We had to chase for menus, for water we'd ordered, and the only thing that did arrive on time was our Robot Juices which the waiter, in his hasty delivery, spilt over my shoe. At £2.60 for a small tumbler of juice, it wasn't a cheap spillage in my mind, although I didn't say anything, given the pressure the two wait staff were clearly under. I actually felt sorry for them, as it was clear they knew they were in over their heads.

The food itself was rather good though. The cotechino hash was very tasty (although a little dry), the eggs florentine was good and the tap water was infused with cucumber, which I personally like. It was just a shame that everything was so chaotic, and that the tension coming from the people around us who didn't get their orders was almost audible. I like to think that this was just a one-off, because I've only heard good things in the past. Whether I dare to go back, though, is another story... I think for now the Great Brunch Quest shall continue elsewhere.

Oh Browns. I've given you four chances now, that's three chances more than I'd normally give a restaurant. But because I live only a ten minute stroll away, I've persisted in letting it try to win me over. Yet I now realise now that Browns never had any interest in winning me over. To quote Gob Bluth in Arrested Development: I've made a huge mistake.

The first time we went was for drinks but the barman was so rude to us and another customer, we left. The second time we paid for the pots of "loose large leaf tea" on their menu, but discovered that the teapots contained tea-bags instead. (Quelle horreur!) And just when we were considering letting that one pass, a mouse ran under our table. You can't make this stuff up.

The third time we went back was because the manager had offered us a free breakfast after Tea-and-Mouse-gate. It was pleasant enough, really, especially since it was free. Yet it was with this pleasant-enough experience that we reignited our hope in Browns and were ready for The Fourth Chance.

We've been scouting for a new place for that perfect Sunday brunch, where we could read the papers over poached eggs and pots of tea. And Browns had eggs, and tea, and their website actually said, "perfect to relax with the papers". So let's give Browns another chance, we thought. We turned up, found some cosy couches by the window and settled in, taking in the lovely views and the jazz music playing in the sound system. Hopes were high.

Hopes were dashed.
Again.

The service at Browns is bizarre, like a mysterious operation which one must not be allowed to figure out. Waiters are regularly gathered around their wait-station discussing table philosophy or the likes, and it took fifteen minutes of sitting and staring hopefully at them before accosting a passing one to get the menu. When I asked if I could order drinks now, the waiter said "Just one moment", and disappeared altogether. The wait staff here are like expressionless auto-bots, programmed to run to a tightly choreographed system, and any form of ad-libbing will cause a complete meltdown.

Then, having come specifically for the brunch menu, we were told it finished at midday. We had arrived fifteen minutes too late. I had deliberately checked the brunch menu on the Browns website for a brunch time cut off yet there wasn't one. That, to me, says all day brunch, but I guess one should never assume. So accepting our fate, we begrudgingly accepted the a la carte menu, which brought the average meal price up from £6.95 to £11.95. This was the point where we should have got up and left.

Having had my heart set on brunch, the only thing I felt like on the a la carte menu was a poached egg salad (£9.95). When our orders were finally taken I was told bluntly by the waitress-bot, "We don't have that dish today." So I went to my happy place, counted to ten, and ordered the Sunday special nut roast, which seemed like the least overpriced thing on the menu, at £8.95.

[Then the piano man arrived. It was just bad luck, really, that we'd sat at the table which backed onto the piano. He was jolly good and it would've been fantastic at cocktail hour... But what's with the live bill on a Sunday lunchtime? What about this "perfect to relax with the papers" malarky?]

Oh, the nut roast. It was lukewarm and so packed with stilton they might as well have called it Stilton loaf with added nuts. It came with a cold Yorkshire pudding and a side of vegetables in cheese sauce which had been sitting under a warmer for so long that the cheese sauce had formed into a solid glue. My fella's schnitzel was good, but, he admitted later, it wasn't very special. Frankly, I think a schnitzel, with no sides, on a lunch menu at £11.45 should be at least a little bit special, no?

Perhaps at this point I had given up trying to be forgiving. Can you blame me? I was furious that after four decent chances I was let down yet again, and that they had filled my Sunday with disappointment. Was I angry at Browns, or at myself? I think it was both. In the end I asked the maitre de to remove the nut roast from the bill, which he did, with a hurried and unquestioning manner that screamed, "We're used to this".

Browns Butlers Wharf need to up their game. They have so much going for them - location, comfy seating, style.... but their service and their food are so ridiculously below par - precisely the two things that make or break the customer experience. Despite having an excessively large army of tightly-run wait staff, it takes forever to get any service (and when referring to "service" at Browns I mean someone delivering a menu, a meal or a bill to your table, before racing off again for another 15 minutes). And above all, the food is disappointing. It's not horrid, it's merely an edible letdown. It's the kind of thing which would be acceptable in a pub, where you pay little and don't really mind if the vegetables are cold, usually because you've had a few pints. For a place which tries to be a combination of French brasserie and English restaurant, the menu over-charges and under-delivers.

We didn't stay for the tea in the end. And there won't be any more chances. Sorry Browns, but linen napkins and a piano player does not a quality dining experience make.