I would have to agree with Jaimep, although must enthuse that this is a place not to be missed - a pint of beer is the equivalent of 60p (or was when I was there last). But I also wouldn’t go near the described decor judging by the number of young folk often found there on weekends.

The old folk can get a bit in the way if you go early, and at night often the annoyed car guard wants your membership number. I know mine by heart. But it really is worth it for the cheap booze and food - try the freshly-made pizza for £1 (R15 in South Africa). And obviously such good prices mean they cut costs on service, so expect not to be bowled over by that. Get it? Sigh.

The Zoolake Bowling club has fine food and cheap alcohol, but some appreciate the finer details in life. Like the girl’s bathroom. It has floral curtains and as you walk in, there is a voice in the corner, saying “please come lay in me”. (That’s Lay as in Laid). What’s that you say? Oh yes, just a single bed covered in a floral duvet in the corner of a bathroom. In the pub, you can marvel over non-ironic wall ducks, fisticuff for a place at the wooden bar counter while your feet stand on a genuine darkbrown, beerstained carpet (not as bad as The Jolly Roger though), watch the non-ticking clocks and stare at the dirty glass cabinet of bowling trophies… Oooo! To have one of those on own on my mantelpiece.
Outside, there is grass – which, as we know, in Joburg is very important. During the day, on the actual bowling green (yes there really is one) you will find genuine relics from the past. These are “bowlers” and can be seen bending for a “wood”. They move as if real, and when the giant school bell is rung, they lay down their balls and line up for lunch and dessert.
This bowling club is a definite go to zone.