I don’t want to sound like a Greenwich snob, but I’m going to and it’s for your own safety. Stay away from the other side of the creek (oooh sounds like the start of a horror film). Stay away from this pub and just generally avoid anything over the bridge.

There. I said it. Seriously, this pub is terrifying. I don’t like sharing my beer with staff who punch ten bells out of each other. I don’t want to have to queue for the loos because there are people doing coke in there. I don’t want to walk home and get stabbed. That happens a lot out here. I don’t want to get harrassed for fags by the hooker over the road.

Call me a snob if you will, but I don’t think that’s entirely unreasonable.

But the beer’s cheap and you can buy a packet of crisps. But you can do that in safe pubs too y’know.