The moody interior feels like the captain’s quarters on a galleon. Beers by the galleon include London Pride, Broadside and St Austell’s Tribute, plus guest beers on tap. But you’ll probably feel obliged to sup rum; the spirits of old salts and tars seem to seep out of the dark woodwork.

Despite it’s fancy (?) name, this is a greasy spoon by day and kebab house by night. And my goodness they look after me.

A drunken night in Greenwich always ends up here. It has to. It would be rude for it not to. That’s when people see the sleepy little town for what it is. It’s messy. All that quiet politeness has been hidden away until now. After midnight it’s strewn across the floor with bits of salad in it.

The guys in here are great. Really friendly but without ever hitting on you. (Why do guys in takeaways ALWAYS hit on you?). They’re friendly and don’t get annoyed no matter how drunk you are. Believe me, in six years of living in Greenwich I’ve really pushed their patience. Better say sorry here. Sorry guys.

I always have more luck with them as a kebab house thn a greasy spoon, but every few months my mate comes home from China and we can be found on a Sunday with a full breakfast and a copy of the Sun… any visions of me as a classy girl have just gone out the window.

Oh well. It’s great here.