What’s wrong, TripleXGee? Too expensive for you or did you just not get in? Try Wetherspoon, I’m sure you’ll fit right in.
Mahiki Bar & Restaurant
1 Dover Street, London W1S 4LA
- Green Park Tube Station (0.1 km)
- Piccadilly Circus Tube Station (0.6 km)
22 reviews of Mahiki Bar & Restaurant in English
Hand-made "Princess" chairs, colourful Hawaiian cushions, hand-carved tiki figures, intimate green rush affect banquettes and jetsam and flotsam hang, all amplifying the illusion of having arrived at some distant port of pleasure is giving the perfect night-out.
For more info and table bookings, checkout Mahiki on www.GuestlistSPOT.com.
If you're looking to hit the right spot, make sure it's a G_SPOT!
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nathan_sherlock, 28 August 2012:
TripleXGee, 29 August 2012:
Ha ha gotta love nathan_smallcock, sorry I mean sherlock? Did you go to Latymer? Anyhoo, keep frequenting the establishment my good man. I’m sure one day you ‘might’ end up in the ‘background’ of a photo for Bystander ;)
nathan_sherlock, 29 August 2012:
Oh, a penis joke? Well done, I can’t fault that razor-sharp comeback. At least that’s my question answered – you were clearly denied entry because you are 15…
TripleXGee, 29 August 2012:
Re: “razor-sharp comeback”
Dear Master Smallcock,
As much as I have enjoyed our jousting word play over the last 48 hours I really must disengage.
I have started to genuinely feel inferior to your ingenious reposts. The never-ending stream of rapier witticisms, they flow so freely from the brilliant mind of the Smallcock. They are just impossible to parry against!
I fear I may have picked my opponent foolishly.
It could be the age difference after all I am only 15 and not quite the learned gent that is associated with the likes of the Smallcock!
I shall now beat a hasty retreat to the nearest Wetherspoon’s to contemplate my defeat. I rue the day I ever challenged the lighting repartee of the Smallcock. I feel less of a man indeed.
However, I can live in the vain hope that maybe one day I too shall be as erudite as he. As the Smallcock!
And maybe one day I too will appear in the back pages of Tatler! Barely visible, in the background of some photo of some sad coked-up zed list celeb! But I’ll be there!
But maybe moments of such greatness as these above are only attainable and shared by superior beings.
Superior beings such as Nathan Sherlock Smallcock! PR man for Mahiki!
Ps do you know is there a Wetherspoon’s in Winchester?
velvetpr, 30 August 2012:
Listen, i do not have a go at people and call them C$%^&s should they decide that they want to go to a Wetherspoons. I think you have quite proved a point here Triple Gee that these places exist so people like me do not have to mingle with the likes of you. Who i consider Riff Raff.
Why are you hating on people that can afford to spend £15 on a drink. I enjoy being in an environment where i can be with attractive women and not louts or people like yourself. Haters will alaways hate the sucessfull and in the same way there are ford escorts and ferraris there will always be a place suitable for you and your means. Also the smallcock joke really is a bit sad. I think you need to get out more it isn’t funny in the slightest and just shows your immaturity. Please dont come back with a reply correcting my punctuation as that will only make you look more stupid as i am dyslexic.
TripleXGee, 31 August 2012:
Well hello Mr “Dick” Lexic.
That’s strange. I know a lot of people with Dyslexia. One of them is actually a playwright. She doesn’t seem to have any problems writing and forming sentences and using punctuation correctly. In fact most of the people I know with dyslexia can write perfectly fine, but they did all go to good schools mind….
Anyhoo, sadly this must mean some poor chaps are born retarded and with Dyslexia! You being one of those! Drawn the short straw there squire! Oh well, chin up as they say. Mind you don’t dribble on your bib!
Now back to the debate at hand.
First off. This is a public forum. We do have free speech. So I am allowed to voice my opinion here whether idiots like you like it or not.
You see Mr “Dick” Lexic, what tells me a lot (psychologically) about you and Nathan ‘Smallcock’ Sherlock is your imbecilic presumptuousness.
You automatically presume because one doesn’t like Mahiki or it’s type of clientele that one must be what? Not able to afford it? Working class? Because Great Scott man! Heaven forbid they should let that crowd in.
Or maybe it’s just that I have higher standards than you? I want quality as opposed to pretentious, fickle filth.
The only too obvious conjecture above, along with the Wetherspoon’s assumption, the totally moronic Ford Escort and Ferrari comparison. The fact you use such an archaic term as “Riff Raff”.
All of this utter drivel only shows what an absolute pair of asinine arsehole’s you and Master Smallcock really are.
It also proves that the “shallower than a punctured paddling pool in the desert” comment in my review of Mahiki, is pretty damn accurate.
This is not about money you pair of retarded cretins you.
It’s about the fact that Mahiki is full of clueless, trashy, fake, C%@ts! And you and Smallcock are firmly sat in that demographic my friend.
At this point I would like to refer to another 4 star review on Qype. This was sent in by someone who goes by the handle of ‘Dannilou’.
Dannilou writes; “Apparently people such as Paris Hilton, Cheeky Girls, Chelsea footballers, royalty – they all visit and it seems to be one of the ’it’ places to go.”
WOW! Paris Hilton, The Cheeky Girls and Chelsea footballers!!!!! What a buzzing hub of culture Mahiki is.
Guess that’s why you love it though right Mr “Dick” Lexic?
Are they you’re role models perchance? Paris Hilton and the Cheeky Girls? I would wager they are. I bet you’ve thrown one off to the image of that foursome plenty of times eh? Naughty Mr “Dick” Lexic! You’ll go blind you will.
You know in 16 century France they had things called Salon’s. These were places where the artistic and intellectual elite of Parisian society would go to socialize.
Guess Mahiki is the modern day equivalent of these Salon’s eh? I mean Paris Hilton, the Cheeky Girls, Chelsea footballers et al. Jeezoo Christ! You don’t get much more highbrow than that.
Do you see what I’m getting at here?
Why am I writing this? It’s unfeasible to even imagine that a pair of doltish pricks such as yourselves would grasp what the hell I am on about.
Maybe you like Mahiki because of this though? Maybe you are a secret celeb spotter. Waiting for his chance to steal a little shimmering piece of the limelight. It’s quite easily done my friend. All you need to do is get caught on film blowing John Terry in the Mahiki toilets and BAM there’s your 15 minutes my boy! Hell, you could even end up as a background artist on Made in Chelsea! Sky’s the limit babe! TOTES!
You’ll be the headline in one of those tabloid papers you no doubt read. “Dyslexic retarded boy involved in Mahiki Premier League fellatio scandal!”
Ahh! Tabloids!! Now here’s a fairly good comparison. The newspaper equivalent of Mahiki would be the Daily Mail!
Now do you get it???
No you don’t do you. You’re so backward and inbred you probably read the fuckin’ Daily Mail.
Anyways I’ll give you a few other options. If you ever decide to broaden your horizons and take them blinkers off you’re tiny abnormal mind that is.
For cocktails: The Experimental Cocktail Club, The Savoy. The Sanderson and The Langham.
The cocktails in these places are roughly the same price as Mahiki but they’re just better. So you don’t feel ripped off by some out of work model posing as a mixologist.
Some good bars in general; Blacks is very cool, (although you have to be a member, very much doubt the trashy likes of you and Master Smallcock would get in) The Mayor of Scaredy Cat Town, Lounge Lover and maybe The Mint Leaf.
Try them. Or on seconds thoughts… don’t! These places are pretty ok and I wouldn’t want the tone lowered by the likes of ‘Riff Raff’ like you and Monsieur Smallcock.
By the way I really love the bit that goes “I enjoy being in an environment where i can be with attractive women”
I mean seriously? When were you born? The 19 fuckin’ 40’s? You sound like Terry Thomas you dyslexic sleazebag!
Jesus! I would love to see you and you’re smooth skills in operation in an “environment of attractive women”.
Judging by this patter I can just see that ol’ Romeo Mr “Dick” Lexic working his charm on a Saturday evening in Mahiki right now.
My god you are laughable. I just know you’re one of those guys that stands at the bar ALL night. Staring at the “attractive women”, eye’s bulging out of their sockets like a sex offender on a nudist beach.
And then when you have eventually numbed you’re senses enough on mediocre over priced cocktails you get a taxi home on your lonesome. When at home you probably play on your computer for a while until you’re eye focus goes due to the alcohol intake. After that you fall asleep in mid masturbation to the dreamy thought of that foursome with Paris Hilton and the Cheeky Girls.
Oh Mr “Dick” Lexic. It really is quite tragic. It’s obvious to me that the best part of you was left dripping from a torn condom. I think the common term for somebody such as you and dear Mr Smallcock is OXYGEN THIEF.
And there we are. Character assassination over and done with.
I have enjoyed our little Qype debate and do hope to hear from you again soon.
All my love,
J. Calthorpe xx
Ps: Sorry about the “Dick” Lexic thing! I just had to put it in cause I know how much you LOVE nob gags!
“Haters are gonna hate etc
And shallow, clueless, retarded c%
ts are always gonna be shallow, clueless, retarded c%ts!” ☺
velvetpr, 31 August 2012:
Sorry i know you have gone to all that effort but i have no interest in anything you have to say. that is all.
nathan_sherlock, 31 August 2012:
How on earth do you find time to write this nonsense? It seems we have touched a nerve, and, as velvetpr says, you’ve clearly gone to a lot of effort. Just a few points:
Free speech – lest we forget, within minutes of opening a Qype account you branded a ‘retard’ every reviewer whose opinion was contrary to your own, so save the sanctimonious rhetoric.
Bars – most of those you mention are excellent (disagree with Mint Leaf, and would add Dukes to the list), but there’s a place for everything; Mahiki is not about quality cocktails.
Last four paragraphs – you have an active imagination, but it’s unnecessary to share your erotic fantasies with the rest of Qype.
Character assassination – the only character you have assassinated is your own, and you managed that in the first paragraph.
I had no doubt you will spend the rest of the afternoon working on another rambling and essentially irrelevant reply. Since I have no intention of reading it, you may wish to do something else with your time. Might I suggest instead going for a walk, tidying your bedroom or applying for a job?
velvetpr, 31 August 2012:
Completely and utterly demolished.
TripleXGee, 3 September 2012:
Sorry about late reply, was in Cannes over the weekend.
I simply must beat a hasty retreat and retire this time. Your eloquence of put down’s overwhelms me somewhat and makes me feel a little helpless. I cannot compete. Completely and utterly demolished? I feel it. Once again I have been smothered to the point of suffocation by Smallcock’s vitriolic word play.
However, it gives me an immense sense of well being, knowing that I have been instrumental in bringing Monsieur “Dick” Lexic and Master Smallcock together in this “bro-mantic” alliance.
Maybe now Mr “Dick” Lexic can fall into gentle slumber each evening not to the thought of Paris Hilton and The Cheeky Girls! To the thought of someone new! Eh? Master Smallcock?
Jeg elsker deg
polsaaP, 4 September 2012:
Omg! this is very mature boys. Bit ott tripleX but you do make me laugh a lot!
Mahiki nightclub London nightclub that will brighten up even the dreariest partygoers on a rainy night in London. With plenty of exotic dishes and smooth chill music in constant rotation for those who want to relax without taking a holiday the Mahiki nightclub is the perfect spot. However, don’t be fooled, because while the Mahiki is a relaxed environment to party in, the dance floor is anything but cold as it heats up quickly once a few Mojitos are consumed and the singles come out to play!
For more info, checkout Mahiki Nightclub on www.velvet-pr.com.
velvet-pr.com, the place to find the best London nightclubs
I love themed cocktails bar and, having tried most in London, Mahiki remains my favourite. Most of the cocktails are for sharing, so if you're thinking of visiting then it's best to get a group together so that you can all chip in. Entry before 9.30pm is free, so I recommend heading down their early. The cocktails are fantastic, although I've yet to convince ten people to split a treasure chest with me! However, the Honululu Honey served in a mermaid shaped glass, the pina colada served in a pineapple and the Neptune's Bounty served in a deep-sea divers helmet are all wonderfully kitsch and make great talking points. The club also sells a selection of bottled beers and these start at just £4.
Downstairs is the nightclub area, which plays a fantastic mix of popular music and cheese. A night at Mahiki is fun, glamorous and memorable and I'll definitely be back.
For something a bit different, you can't go wrong with Mahiki, one of London's few tiki cocktail bars. With at least two dozen inspired and completely unique themed cocktails you will certainly not be disappointed. Arrive before 9.30 and entry is free, and although some cocktails can be expensive the majority are reasonably priced for London (£8-9), while a beer will set you back less than £4. The atmosphere is lively and, despite the celebrity image, is one of London's less pretentious scenes. If you're planning a special occasion and a vibrant, tropical theme appeals, then look no further.
I find it quite difficult to write critical reviews of places I have been invited to on a special occasion. Almost as if it might spoil the party for the birthday girl. Well, I can only hope she doesn't read this ...
This was the worst night out in a long time with one disappointment chasing the other. As I am not a big reader of gossip rags I wasn't aware of Mahiki's reputation as a celebrity hang-out. Oh well, at least I wasn't disappointed at the severe lack of famous people. Instead the clientele predominantly consisted of wannabe wags.
Considering that it wasn't even 8 o'clock when I got there, the artificial queue behind the roped-off entrance was a bit OTT. Mind you, I might well have missed the place without it as all the action takes place underground.
Once through that rope, you're on your own. Luckily I heard a friend's voice when I reached the first level down. Together we managed to locate the unmarked door to the bar – aloha!
I loved watching Magnum PI when I was growing up in the '80s and I was half expecting handlebar mustaches and tight men-shorts on tanned and well-toned toned legs. Oh well, happy to settle for a young version of Mr T. instead. I quite like being reminded of my kitsch youth, so was initially happy to be surrounded by a retro exotic party atmosphere. Even the music was OK in that it was a predictable and non-offencive selection of middle-of-the-road classics. Not much changed when the DJ arrived, apart from the volume being turned up further, making any attempt of conversation futile.
The more important staff were communicating via headsets and decided between themselves to shoo us off our table once it became apparent that we weren't going to order one of their famous treasure chests at £100 a go, and just weren't ordering drinks fast enough.
Hmmm, placing orders actually wasn't all that easy. Our waitresses seemed to be too busy disappearing backstage to take or serve orders. The first round was a complete disaster. Having finally secured a server's attention, none of the drinks her colleague delivered - almost half an hour later - resembled our order. "Mahiki" is described on the menu as their "signature cocktail", but instead we were offerend mojitos. In retrospect we should have just accepted those ... They came back and plonked some drinks on our table after another inexplicable wait, convincing us that these were our actual orders. As all the drinks on the menu come in a distinctly designed beakers, this could not be right (and indeed turned out to be wrong, but who cares – certainly not the staff) but by this point we were too thirsty to care.
I tasted a total three different cocktails and they were all disgusting. I am fairly convinced they come from a slush-puppy style cocktail machine (especially as we were informed that they were out of certain cocktails – how can a well-stocked cocktail bar ever be out?!). My only other experience of one of those was in a second-rate tex mex cafe in suburban Germany ... The only up-side: as the bubbles stem from soda stream rather than champagne, you don't get drunk!
They probably don't expect you to like the drinks either as they are rather efficient at clearing near-full glasses off the table – hold on fast!
Bit by bit the perceived glamour of the surroundings seemed to peel off. No amount of imagination can conjure up the illusion of being anywhere near a beach when you are sitting in a low-ceilinged cellar bar. This felt like an all-inclusive off-season package holiday to a remote resort gone wrong: stuck in a confined space with strangers, herded by disillusioned staff who can only make it through the night by snorting their wages up their noses – just to be chatted up by the toilet attendant (she kept stroking my arm!).
I keep wondering if there are parallel worlds in Mahiki land as my experience seems so completely different from everyone else's – in case it matters, we went on a Friday night.
A complete and utter rip-off – you've been warned!
I was invited to a party here earlier this week, and my review is based on having a free bar all night so perhaps I am a little biased, but here is why I liked it so much.
Staff were mostly very friendly, my friend even got to go behind the bar and make us a couple of cosmopolitans. Chin chin! I think I sampled a bit of everything on the menu including the rather expensively priced treasure chests with a bottle of Moet poured over the top.The Mahiki cocktail was a little on the strong side, but the shots were yummy and we had nibbles too. The dim sum was spot on and perfect for mopping up some of the copious amounts of alcohol that we were all consuming.
The music they were playing upstairs was great - I even got a couple of requests in too. The later it got, the busier it was though so expect to queue for the bar if you don't get in there early. In terms of celeb spotting, there wasn't much to report. One lady did take her bouncer to the ladies with her, but none of my friends and I recognised who she was.
This would have got 5 stars but I knocked off a star purely because I wouldn't have had such a good night if I'd had to pay. £11 for a standard cocktail is a bit steep and a round of shots comes in at about £65.
I'd say it's worth going to for a splurge after getting a hefty bonus, but it won't be so much fun if you've got a budget to stick to. I do love the decor though - it's themed but not cheap and tacky.
Here are some pics of our night out if you want to see more: http://www.flickr.com/photos/samwitney/sets/7215762292957...
por donde empezar…antes de ir llame 3, no 1 vez, solo para asegurarme de q no me hicieran problema en la puerta para entrar. pues bueno ellos no toman reservas , pero claro una vez ahi lo 1 q te ask es si la tienes….mis amigos llegaron primero y al no saber dijeron mi nombre y …surprise, los dejaron entrar!!! solo por decir si! porq ellos lista no tienen y adelante mio unas 5 ninas muy bonitas ellas fueron rebotadas por no tener reserva! o sea hipocritas dejan entrar a quien quieren….
una vez dentro: la comida es malisima, como de un pub de mala muerte, los banos son minusculos, lo unico bueno es la musica y los meseros dejan bastante q desear…
OK - I was all up for this bar having read that this is THE place to celeb spot. Apparently that is Thursday nights, but my girlie night out on last Saturday was still fun. We got there around 10pm and managed to grab one of the last tables. The theme is Hawaiian lu-au, all cane chairs, potted plants and fun cocktails. Famed for the exorbitant treaure chest ( max £650.00!! - be still my heart ) cocktail, the drinks are all themed, with many designed to be shared between 4 - 8 people. Slightly squeamish at the thought of shared bacteria in a cocktail with 8 straws, we plumped for individual drinks mostly. The music too, was really good - bit of Michael Jackson, Old School and RnB in equal measure. Now comes the bad part - SERVICE! Our waitress was lovely, but after one round, advised us that there will be a really long wait for table service if we ordered single drinks instead of one of the bigger cocktails ( how convenient they start at £100.00 - blatent attempt to get us spending more ). I then needed to pay a round and waited 15 minutes for our waitress to find a portable card terminal that worked in the subterranean atmosphere. While waiting for her colleague to run this through manually - he got frustated and slammed the terminal on the bar, releasing spools of printer paper, my card, and pieces of plastic onto the floor. Ever the Londoner, I spun on my heel in disgust and went back to my friends to continue our night. Our waitress then found me later with the receipt and apologised profusely. If that’s not enough, the attendant in the tiny womens’ toilets was sleeping when a friend and I went in, and when she woke, presumed my friend was using a communal lipgloss and tried to wrest it from her grasp. My friend promptly yelped that it was hers and we beat a hastly retreat from the lions den. I did attempt to tell the bar staff of this vaguely disturbing experience, to which they laughed and said 'she’s always like that!’ Hmmm, perhaps a cunning plan to let people stay in there the minimum required time, and discourage useless primping? Anyway, if you want a fun boogie in a fabulously kitch place, it’s fine. Just go to the bar and get your own drinks ( you’ll be the only one in a room full of rich-kids ) and take a coin to the toilet to appease the beast.
On to the next big thing…...
I always read in London papers how celebs stagger out of this place every wk. Ive been here a few times, but dont c what the fuss is about.
The cocktails are pretty cool, and I would recommend the treasure chest if u want to celebrate, but overall not that impressed. Felt a big eclectic - and the downstairs/dancefloor felt like a shitty school disco.
Clientele: Bankers and rich kids..
It’s too expensive for my budget and so popular that there’s no guarantee that one can simply slip in for just a drink (I usually just head on over to nearby Trader Vic’s when in the area and thirsting for a cocktail). Still, it’s worth checking out and should be high on any gawker’s list of London sites. Didn’t Prince Harry run up an infamous £10,000 tab here in one night? I’ve been to Mahiki a few times. I had fun but was mildly annoyed too. Still, the tiki décor is pretty cool and nice to see at a hip place in central London. Also, I must confess that I haven’t been back in awhile. They may have been working out some kinks as my last time there was close to when it had opened. I’d be happy to go back under the right circumstances (especially if someone else foots the bill!) but don’t see myself making any plans soon.
Ok, well I’m a poor first-job graduate living in London with very little money BUT I had a great night out at Mahiki recently!
I thought it would be really pretentious but was surprised that there was no guest list, the manager introduced himself and bought me and my friend drinks and I got chatting to Princess Beatrice! Paid £10 entry, £9 for a cocktail and after that the night was free as people are so willing to buy drinks. Not stupid enough to think people are that nice, but the clientel were generally drunk and rich!
Apparently people such as Paris Hilton, Cheeky Girls, Chelsea footballers, royalty - they all visit and it seems to be one of the 'it’ places to go. It’s definitely worth an occasional visit for the fantastic cocktails and memorable evening but I won’t be a regular…
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