Two words - salted caramel. Go to Bi-Rite Creamery, wait your turn (it could be a while if it’s nice outside or if there’s an event at Dolores Park) and prepare to be wowed.

It’s not the most economical scoop of ice cream you’ll ever have, but considering the “artisanal” aspect of the product, I won’t ever complain about the price tag.

I’m forced to eat their soy ice cream, which is very good, but on occasion I’ll sneak a taste of their salted caramel or curry banana nut. It’s all delicious, and I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t cheat on my non-dairy diet a little.

Also, their cookies and snacks are quite good, and the perfect companion to a scoop of snickerdoodle ice cream.

The clientele is definitely hipster-chic at this place. However, if you want down-home, go to Mitchell’s for ice cream in the Mission.

Bi-Rite Creamery makes me sad because I am diabetic.

Next time I go to Bi-Rite Creamery, I am going to forcibly remove my pancreas out of my body and shove it in a tub of THE BEST SALTED CARAMEL ICE CREAM YOU’VE EVER HAD IN YOUR LIFE and scream “THIS HEAVEN IN ICE CREAM FORM IS WHAT YOU ARE MAKING ME MISS OUT ON YOU WIMPY PANCREAS WEAKLING!! NOW GET IN THE KITCHEN AND MAKE ME SOME INSULIN CAUSE PAPA’S HUNGRY FOR SOME SUGAR!!!!!!!”

I am extremely mentally unstable.

I’ve tried all the rest, and I declare Bi-Rite to be the best. We tasted the Salted Caramel, Vanilla, Vanilla Malt, and hubbie went for the Banana Sundae. All I can say is that we left with four pints to take home and if I lived nearby it would be “Danger Will Robinson” time every day. Seriously. I could eat this stuff all the time.

I asked my 10-year-old to rate our favorite ice creams shops in the Bay Area: Ici and Sketch in Berkeley and Bi-Rite in SF. Without hesitation, and with great certainty, he said, “Bi-Rite is the best, of course!” Now, mind you, Ici and Sketch are both wonderful, but the creaminess of the Bi-Rite ice cream reminded me of the ice cream I had in Ireland as a child, as fresh as fresh can get. I was instantly transported back to the tiny local ice cream shop in the itty bitty town in the West of Ireland where my mother grew up. It takes something special to produce a memory like that one.