It’s huge - so huge you can easily get lost trying to find your room.

It’s overpriced - unfairly so, especially at $9 a cocktail at their makeshift lobby bar while the “real” lobby is under renovation. Not to mention 15% gratuity and 20% service charge and 8.25% sales tax added to already exorbitant room service orders.

The level of quality and service are on par with other newly-renovated Hilton brand hotels throughout the world. Which is to say that it’s pretty damn good for a huge, impersonal chain.

Sure, they bend you over a bit, but they give you plenty of opportunity to lay the pipe as well.

Take, for example, the Cityscape bar/restaurant/club on the 46th floor. On a clear night, the view will inspire your otherwise wholesome companion to do all sorts of things that shouldn’t happen at a family hotel.

Or the beds - while a bit too soft and springy for sleeping, the overly bouncy mattresses make for amazing liquidity in an effortless night of the horizontal hokey pokey. Furthermore, the giant body pillow and the cushioned bench at the foot of the bed allow for more creative means of sweating the night away.

Come morning, after the previous night’s activity, one may want to shower off. Drought-conscious guests will be happy to know that the shower area easily accommodates two, with a shower head large enough to provide hot water coverage for both members of the party. Additionally, the shower doors are made of very thick, reinforced glass that stand up to leaning on, banging, or other forms of percussive activity that most shower doors or curtains could not withstand.

Despite the high prices, the Hilton proves with its titillating views, in-room ergonomics, and structural robustness that it is, indeed, a great place to bring your prom date/mistress/regretfully drunk colleague.