Capital Kebab House, Waterloo, London

Well, this has to be a first for me: a review by proxy. But I'm sure as hell not setting foot in a kebab house anywhere near where I live in case I am judged by my neighbours/get hooked/ hate it, and get crows feet from passing it with narrowed eyes of rage.

My boyfriend has been casting hungry glances at this place for weeks now and keeps casually suggesting we might like kebab for dinner rather than scrambled egg (we wouldn't.) Tonight, he sent me this text message: "Tonight, Katherine, I intend to have a kebab, utterly sober. Spare not those eggs."

And so he trundled off to fetch his chicken kofta and came back pleased as punch. Notes as follows: "Nice, clean and friendly. Ok quality meat, not the greatest. Better selection of vegetables than average: fresh lettuce (unusual), red cabbage, onions, all tasted fresh."

Ultimately though, he said it couldn't compare to his old local kebabby, Mangal in Warwick Way where he apparently used to weep if he turned up to find it closed. I will freely admit to casting the eye of extreme judgment on him at that point - the only place I've ever had a kebab sober was in a lovely one in Strasbourg which closed at 9pm and was a place for proper dinner rather than drunken meat mangling.

So he's not going to make it a regular, but we shall still have great fun playing I Spy with Lambeth's local coppers, who all trundle in (sometimes avec van) and leave with huge bags of kebab. What a healthy police force we have.

A great place to get a late night snack close to Waterloo station. Very tasty range of kebabs, but also other takeaway food such and burgers, chips etc. Pretty efficient service and reasonable prices. They have a seating areas round the back although I’ve never used this.

Strangely, every time I’ve visited this place the police have been here – not because there’s been any trouble, but because they are also buying kebabs and chips! I wonder if they have some sort of deal worked out with the owner?