Lovely review. I might have taken the obvious line - if Sutton were a penis, the Moon on the Hill is herpes - but your version is much better.
Kudos.
by hafi46
Carshalton, London
5-9 Hill Road, London SM1 1DZ
Nearby stations:
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222 South Ealing Road, London W5 4RL
“Welcome to The Ealing Park Tavern, hidden away in the South Ealing suburbs. The wood, brick and whitewash exterior, reminiscent of something from a Harry Potter movie, holds many a tale and now we are looking to put our own stamp in the gastro pub...” more...
If Sutton were a mouth, then the Moon on the Hill would be a cold sore. Horrible, not only aesthetically but in all its other properties, and it just won't go away. It's also located in dangerous proximity to the bandstand a.k.a. biggest chav hangout in the United Kingdom, and having two such horrible places so near one another is like casting petrol toward a naked flame.
Because of its slightly later opening times than the other pubs in Sutton, the Moon on the Hill is often the location of choice for "pre-drinking", and so is full of drunk girls wearing barely anything and rowdy men on the lookout for a fight.
I would say go there to verify my claims but I really don't want to encourage anyone to go there, whatever the reason.
I went to this pub on a Saturday evening. The first thing that hits you as you walk through the door is the overwhelming stench of vomit all around the bar area. I had been in this pub about a month before and it had the same stench then so either they haven't bothered to deal with it or their extremely young customers vomit by the bar regularly. I am surprised at the age of the customers. Approximately a third of them looked under age to me but were served without being asked for ID.
Getting served took about 9-10 minutes each time. There were plenty of bar staff on duty (about 5) but they dragged their heels or spent time flirting with each other. None of the bar staff seemed to be able to keep track of who had been waiting the longest and just served the first person they saw after the previous customer. All the bar staff look exceptionally young and fed up. There didn't appear to be any manager on duty to chivvy them up a little.
When last orders were called we bought one last pint. We had only had it for two minutes when an aggressive doorman told us to get the f**k out and took our beer from us, threatening us with violence. Fortunately the other door staff had cooler heads and ushered him away to calm down. It's possible he had just had to deal with another customer who had been unpleasant but I think door staff should be able to control their tempers better.
I haven't tried the food here for a couple of years and for good reason. It was either burned or not heated up properly.
The only thing this pub has going for it is that the beer is cheap and it is open slightly later then the other pubs in Sutton but to be honest if you want a late drink you would be better off planning ahead and getting some beers from the off licence and going home.
It's a shame as this was once a very reasonable pub. I often use Wetherspoon pubs elsewhere and whilst they aren't the best pubs in London they certainly have their place. This Wetherspoons compares very unfavourably with other Wetherspoons in London and the other pubs in Sutton
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This is definately not one of the better wetherspoon pubs i have been in. the football crowd were very rowdy, queue to order food was extremely long and staff were slow. however they were quite apologetic about the long wait. once we had finally ordered, the food took about 40 minutes to arrive which made the kids with us highly bored and aggravated. food was ok when it bothered to arrive but you could tell that it has been thrown together rather than carefully prepared.
im just glad that all wetherspoon outlets aren’t like this!
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Wetherspoons are all very hit and miss aren’t they? You know what to expect with the drinks and the menu so you are never going to get hit for £5 for a small glass of wine and they offer great value when you need a quick lunch on the cheap and its raining outside but on the other hand most of these places are overun with the hardened drinkers of the UK. The Sutton branch is one of them. I think this affects the whole pub and when we went the glasses weren’t clean and neither were the tables. Head across the road to All Bar One - its dearer but cheerier.
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A spacious but a rather formulaic Wetherspoons with all the usual characteristics. However the bar smelt like the world spewing championships had been held there during the afternoon, trying to find a table not piled up with dirty dishes was nigh on impossible, only 1 guest beer (which wasn’t up to the usual high Wetherspoons quality) and a generally down market crowd made this one of the most unappealing Wetherspoons I have encountered. I thought I may have just called on an off day, but it is clear that the problems are an intrinsic part of the pub and not a good advert for the management. This is one of the worst examples of a Wetherspoons and the sort of place that gives the chain a bad name.
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