The Mock Turtle Tea Shop

We went to Brighton this jubilee weekend and saw the sign saying cream tea with homemade scones and thought mmmmm......... Well... It was the worst cream tea we have ever had!!!!! The tea was lukewarm and served in broken cups that were glued together, the jam for the cream tea had HAIR in it, the cream was not clotted cream and the scones were overcooked and  hard as rocks with absolutely no taste and seemed like they had been microwaved to warm through. We also had a jam doughnut that looked lovely on the shelf but I have to say I have had better tasting doughnuts from cheap supermarkets as this was awful!! I would not recommend this place at all and felt like saying to everyone who walked by admiring our little teacups and cream tea that it really is all quirky looking with absolutely no taste.  It is sad really as it ruined our day as it cost nearly £10  and didn't fancy eating anything out after that :o(

Please don't go there if you want a proper cream tea because the scones are more like overdone sweet bread with weird n wonderful shapes. Mine was hard with a light brown crust all over. Had to leave the top because so hard. These "scones" cut into at least 3 slices but tasteless. 
Have known the Mock Turtle all my life and miss the previous owners whose scones were perfect and the famous  meringues sensational.

The Mock Turtle is definitely one of my favourite places to go to in Brighton. It is so beautiful and full of nostalgic fun. I love the mismatched china and traditional cakes on offer. The prices are very reasonable considering a lot of chain tea/ coffee shops in Brighton are extortionate. The staff are well-mannered and clued in to what’s happening, which is great. The only downside is that this place is tiny, so be prepared to be squashed in with randomers! However, that mini complaint doesn’t overshadow the fact that this is a one of a kind place that you definitely must visit!

An absolutely enchanting English tea room, this is a must visit for anyone going to Brighton! This place has a distinct vintage/retro feel to it, a real throwback to the early 30’s, with all food and drink served on vintage blue china. I always make it a point to come here to have their fresh homemade strawberry meringues, the best I’ve ever had!

If you want that elusive perfect cream tea this is the place. Right off the buss station you can find this quaint and charming little place with home backed goods, drink your tea out of oldfashioned blue china and anyone with even the slightest anglophile streak will love it here. Even better if your into the "old word" charm and missed the chance of eating cake in a frilly wonder of dust catchers and creaky floor boards.

When I was visiting England in 2006, my friend took me to The Mock Turtle to have a proper cream tea. I had never had one before, and I was in for a treat! The Mock Turtle served the tea in a china tea pot, china tea cups, and the scones were served on china dishes. None of the china matched, which was so quaint and added to the charm. We sat outside across the street, and were able to watch people as they came and went. Everything was soooo delicious.

Afterwards, I tried to find somewhere in London that could recreate the experience, and sadly, I wasn't able to do so. After The Mock Turtle, nothing compared. It will always be a fond memory, and if I ever return to the UK, I will also return to The Mock Turtle.

Oh dear...how times have changed. The first time I visited the Mock Turtle was about 35 years ago. I fear the last time I will visit was today.

The tea itself is still lovely, but the cakes had definitely seen better days. Not sure if they were just dry, or stale. Atmosphere was non-existent...lots of pushing and shoving as people tried to get in and out.

Worst of all was the behaviour of some of the staff. We saw customers being made fun of behind their backs by waitresses, whilst others who asked if there was space for them weren't even spoken to at all, the waitress just pointed. Smiling seems to have been outlawed by the management.

When there are lovely places for amazing cake in Brighton (the Marwood, Metro Deco, Cafe Delice etc) it seems a dangerous business plan for the Mock Turtle to rest on its laurels. Especially when it appears that it's glory days are long gone.

One of my all-time favourite places to go in Brighton, The Mock Turtle is a proper, old-fashioned tea room with a distinctly Victorian/Vintage feel to it. This is a place to go if you really want to forget that you're living in the digital age.

Their cakes look incredible and are all laid out beautifully in front of you as you open the door, tempting you before you've even walked in. Regrettably though, they do have to lose points for their decided lack of wheat-free options. I found their enormous slices of lemon meringue pie just too tough to resist though... the pain afterwards was worth every mouthful.

Loose leaf tea comes in a proper teapot, you get real cream (not steamed milk) with your coffee and the china cups are wonderfully dainty. The Mock Turtle just makes me want to pop on a tea dress with a string of pearls and sit writing with a quill and notebook rather than tap-tapping away on my netbook.

I recently went here with my youngest daughter and had a really nice time.

She is a big fan of the place so I asked her what she liked about it. She said: “It’s quaint, elegant, very retro and vintage. It’s loved by all ages. The young like the fashionable and vintage atmosphere. For older people it’s a reminder of traditional teatimes. It serves delectable treats and is beautifully decorated.”

I’m quoting her from memory because I didn’t take notes – but I don’t have turtle recall (I’ll get me coat...)

I just adore this place, a must for Brighton visitors.

Exceptional all round tea shop for everyone, always a special treat for me and I treat my friends when I come to Brighton.

The meringues are the best you will ever taste - crunchy on the outside and soft and chewy on the inside.
As you would expect - chinz, doilies, rosy tea sets and so on. . . just go and have tea its gorgeous and in my opinion it is the best tea shop in Brighton, Nana would love it!!!

I like this place but to be honest it fell quite short of my expectations. It is quaint with all the vintage china sets and cloth covered tables and all that but the scones were not, or did not taste home made just heated up, the cream was a bit off and the jam was really low quality supermarket jam. I enjoyed the experience as a whole but I’ve had far better cream tea elsewhere.

This is as good as tea and scones could possibly be. With huge dollops of fresh cream.

I love this place, Its like a 1940s Forte tea room with the china used and table cloths . Near the coach station off East street so convenient for both the town and the seafront. i love the comfort food the scrambled eggs on toast and lashings and lashings of tea served in china pots. In fact it does remind me of something that wouldn’t be out of place in a Famous Five novel perhaps somewhere they’d all be taken to for an extra extra special treat. I love sitting near the windows in the winter and people watching as I sit there cosy and happy. It is a bit of a squash inside though as they say No Pain No Gain and it is a treat. Some where special to go as opposed to yet faceless Starbucks. yet another of Brightons one off places , a treat for the eyes , a feast for the stomach and not that hard on your wallet. An experience not to be missed in my book.

Its really popular and last time I went they had added a few tables and chairs outside in the windy alley on the way to Pool Valley but then you don’t get the atmosphere. When you look into the shop from the outside you can spy all the lovely cakes in the window and on the dresser on the left will be whole cakes for sale and jars of homemade preserves. I agree with the other reviewer about the decor being old fashioned and homely but where else does cinnamon toast.

Fabulous - a little gem that I highly recommend!! quirky, friendly service and great home made cakes, sarnies and delicious cups of tea!! A tea room in the truest sense!!

Quirky, quaint and a reason in itself to visit Brighton. It is like stepping back in time to the Victorian era, or between then and the 1950s and I love it. Gorgeous little tables and a selection of foods, hot and cold are on the menu, as well as a selection of home made cakes. These are a must-taste, and they also serve teas in cute little teacups and pots. It’s a wonderful, genuine retro experience and I wish they had another one nearer me.

This is one of the most beautifull, quirky, interesting, gorgeous (can you tell I like it?) places in Brighton. I can't really sing it's praises enough. With it's chintzy decor, delicious hame made cakes, proper tea it's one of the most unspoilt and real places I know. On two levels yet very narrow the only down side I would say is that it can get very cramped and I would advise not even to attempt it if you've got a buggy.
However if you do get a chance this indearing, perfectly English tea room is most definately worth a visit.

The Mock Turtle is a Brighton institution (the name derives from a character in Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll).

Think: traditional English teas, jam and scones, cakes - and grandma. Yes, even the decor looks like it's still 1935. Chintzy, haphazard, and charming if you like that sort of thing (and claustrophobic if you don't).

Actually, the whole place feels like it's 1935. The menus are a bit cheap-looking, but the food on offer is traditional English - lots of toast, cakes, enormous cream-filled meringues, traditional tea (real tea and all the paraphernalia - no tea-bags here). All the food is home-made on the premises.

The tables are close together, so you can happily eavesdrop on your neighbours without making it too obvious.

Grandma would love it.