Wacky Warehouse, Horley

Wow, this place is horrific.

We came here for a birthday party and had to fight our way in while another party was leaving, which is the first warning sign that they just pack 'em in here. The second warning sign is the uncleared and uncleaned tables - they’re either operating on a quick turnaround that isn’t conducive to good hygiene or else they’re just too lazy or understaffed to clean up properly.

The children’s soft play area is divided into two sections: one for under 5s, one for over 5s. However, the equipment is so limited that the over 5s charge into the under 5s section for some variety, and end up pushing the younger kids around.

You’d hope the parents might do something about it, but they’re too busy yakking with each other and not giving a monkey’s what their kids are up to. That might be ok if, as advertised, there was any staff monitoring the play areas, but the only staff around when we visited were too busy flogging sugary snacks and drinks. There was absolutely no evidence of any staff keeping an eye on the play areas.

Security here is also non-existent. It’s all too easy to walk in without being challenged at all. Given that they’re happy to have more than one party at a time here, it’s not as if you could even rely on the party host noticing gate-crashers. The connection with the pub/restaurant next door means that you can easily walk in through the pub then into the children’s play area, and none of the staff would get in your way.

Avoid like the plague.