Beefeater Medieval Banquet

Went last night to the Medieval Banquets Thanksgiving dinner. Really really poor.

The pumpkin soup was bland with no seasoning and served with stale bread.

The second 'course' was bbq ribs, they were burnt, poor quality meat and not enough were served so only 6 of the 10 people even got one! For vegetarians an insipid salad of old lettuce soaked in mayonnaise. When we complained another platter was brought out for those who had gone without - salami, sliced beef, cheese and pate straight out of a supermarket value pack.

Turkey was moist and reasonably well cooked with mini sausages wrapped in bacon. It was served however with frozen veg which were cold on reaching the table. The vegetarian meal only came after continuous prompting and was a tiny plate of dry, congealed fusili pasta in a shop bought tomato sauce. We sent it back and after a second discussion with the management our vegetarian got a slice of grilled aubergine with goats cheese. By this point the American couple who were sat next to us had left.

Pudding:Thin slice of over sickly pecan pie - essentially sugar not fully dissolved in water and definitely not caramalised poured over a few chopped nuts.

The entertainment was a series of historically inaccurate and cliched 'scenes' from Henry the 8th with the best lines stolen directly from Frankie Howard or Blackadder. A barely capable juggler, 'period songs' (whiskey in a jar being an anachronism of more than 300 years) and play fighting could only just be seen as it took part on the main hall whilst the tables sat perpendicular in side cellars. The tables were also arranged in such a way that you had to scrabble over the other guests to get in and out. There was plenty of encouragement to drink the cheap wine or bitter (which tasted off) and enforced 'joining in'. The free booze tap was promptly turned off with the pudding and replaced with an expensive bar.

For £10 you could hire a sofa cover come 'medieval' costume for 2h.
£45? Don't go.

Have you ever thought going to a Medieval Banquet just to do something different and experience what life was like in that particular time? We went as a large group on a friend's birthday party and it was absolutely hilarious and exciting at the same time. The banquet is staged Tues-Saturdays and lasts for three and half hours,departing from St Katherine's dock at 7.45 pm and the dinner and entertainment begin at 20.15. The evening's entertainment includes a 4 course meal with unlimited wine and beer.
You get to dine with HenryV111 and his Royal entourage,inclusive of fire-eaters,court jesters and ministrels to entertain you. The food is served by wenches,you can watch fighting knights and incredible feats of strengths .
After the show is over you either go on to the dance floor or take a two minute stroll along Tower Bridge for a majestic view of London at night.
Just to tempt you further the banquet is served by flickering torchlight in the vaulted cellars of Ivory House and I won't tell you what you get to eat because that would ruin the surprise.