All I can say is: what is everyone doing coming here for breakfast?! This is an after-work pub.

Anyway, once you realise that, then you can also realise that this is a pretty decent place to grab a warm up drink before heading over to watch the St. Pauli game.

One notable thing here: they sell Astra in pints, not bottles. Weirdly I drank loads of the stuff there last night and didn’t get a hangover - maybe how it’s stored makes the difference?

So the thing is....It's the weekend, your hungover and all you want is to tuck into a big English breakfast...

I mean it's only the promise of perfect fried eggs with crispy edges, salty slightly crunchy bacon rashers, thick slabs of buttery hot toast, real meat sausgaes, Bake beans, tomatoes and all washed down with mugs of hot sweet milky English tea- this is what lures you out of bed on a otherwise perfectly sleepable Saturday morning-

Otherwise why would you have bothered?

You do some research and settle on a cafe that tempts you a "Very English breakfast" that's right ladies and gentlemen not just an "English breakfast" but a "Very English" breakfast...Brilliant!

You walk there your feeling rubbish but all you can think of is that soon you'll be tucking into all the food groups you need to sort that stomach out (salt, sugar, grease and carbs, lol)

Sitting down it wasn't for at least ten minutes before we were finally acknowledged as patrons.

The tea wasn't even tea???
I'm not sure what this thing in front of me was attempting to be-I wanted real milk not a little tub of UHT coffee mate crap they serve you on airplanes!

I order My breakfast stopping to ask the waiter specifically how the eggs are cooked- he answered me scrambled even make scrambled motions.

My food arrives- the bacon is small and cold, the eggs are fried sunny side-up and the sausages are average too. Where is my real bacon? Sunny side up eggs just happen to be the one way you dislike your eggs being cooked (hence why you asked when you ordered) the toast is cheap horrible thin slices of white bread stuff. The bake beans are the only warm thing in front of you- but so what! their only beans after all!
Without cutlery what could have be a OK breakfast turned cold outside very quickly- our toast arrived and still no cutlery- We were plagued by Bees and wasps throughout the whole meal- I had to get up myself and go inside to search for salt and pepper as this too was missing from the table.

We finish and I'm frustrated and left unsatisfied-
Pathetic, unhelpful and inconsiderate service, overpriced the food average and cold- I wouldn't eat here again even if they paid me to.

Not Happy Jan!!!!!

Ah, Cafe September - you promised so much! I was geniunely excited about taking my friends to a place that did a "very British" breakfast. And... I'd love to rate it higher, but I can't. OK - the eggs were good, but the tea was weird. Really weird. In fact - check out my photo of the tea set! I've never seen a lemon squeezing contraption delivered with milk before. The sausages were nice, but there were so many wasps! The beans were probably almost Heinz, but, but... they didn't bring cutlery until after it had gone cold. Pricey too. Don't bother.

This place has laughable service. The food is ok (if it ever gets to you).