Heaven

One year on from the previous review, nothing has changed with this ridiculously awful place.  I agree the door policy is abusive and discriminatory - don't waste your time travelling to this club on the off-chance you will be turned away, moved about or generally insulted by the inexperienced and aggressive door staff.

Back in the day when hosted at Astoria, G-A-Y was a fun, welcoming place which encouraged all ages, sizes and types to mix together in relaxed harmony - it used to be a refreshing place in a 'gay scene' which is traditionally obsessed with looks and glamour.  Sadly The Astoria was tragically knocked down and for some reason G-A-Y chose its new home at Heaven.  The place now attracts a "hip young crowd", tagged along by fake blone hair fag hags or groups of "trendoids".

Having boycotted the place for some years now following an awful night immediately after the relocation, we decided to return TWICE in the last few weeks to see if the place had changed....sadly not.  The first time we were "selected" to leave the queue and join another queue right on the other side of the building, only to find out the other queue was 10 times longer and had been informed by the staff if we are "not members" then go home - no discussion, no information, awful.  Upon returning last week we were told we were "too drunk" by a "head bouncer" who appeared from nowhere and hadn't actually seen or spoken to us - as it was 12.30 am OF COURSE we had been drinking, but no, we were not drunk - we attempted to discuss the matter with the young cronies of to demonstrate that we were talking rationally and not aggressively, we simply wanted to know upon what basis we were "too drunk" but no, we were shouted at to "get out of the queue".   Yes, we are in our 30's, so perhaps this was the reason...disgusting.   Upon leaving a young twink screeched at me that I hadn't been asked to leave not because we were too drunk, but "because your hair looks like straw".  This kind of confirmed that the place was not for me anyway and will NOT be returning.

Bring back the old G-A-Y....or just go to Vauxhall instead.

I’m only giving one star because I can’t give none. Please avoid like the plague and spend your money in a more deserving establishment.

The bouncers are Nazis, and rude. If you have had more than 2 pints they won’t let you in. If you look straight, they won’t let you in. If you have girls with you, they won’t let you in.

I hope one day they’re prosecuted, it’s illegal to discriminate in this way.

Notwithstanding that, it’s just crap, full of people pretending to have a good time. I’ve never had a good time there, just please don’t bother.

Probably the finest nightclub in the world

I went to Heaven for the first time last night, but like Siany, I know my experience will be based on what a heavenly night I had at that particular gig. Seeing MEN, Teeth and Sleigh Bells all on one bill was wonderful, and the venue's big enough for a cracking atmosphere, but intimate enough that you can still wriggle your way to the front without too much effort.

Security, door and bar staff were all perfectly cheery and polite, outstandingly so when you think how many inebriates they must get mithering them with their location being so Central.

The strobe lights directed straight at the audience did feel slightly seizure-inducing after a three-hour onslaught, but that might just be me being a mardy old biddy, because everyone else was raving away without an issue.

I'd heard such mixed things about Heaven that I wasn't sure what to expect, but I had a fab time so I'm sure I'll be back. And for a South-Eastern Londoner like me, it being only 30 seconds away from Charing Cross is a total plus!

Wow, the reviews of Heaven are pretty divided. I've only been here once, but I had an excellent time. It's always hard to review a music venue and not base it on the gig that you've seen, or the club night that you've danced the night away at. But for small intimate gigs, this place is excellent.

I saw The Duke Spirit here last week (one of my favourite bands, I rendered myself penniless to buy tickets) so I was already in a super happy mood. The staff were friendly. Everyone. From the guy on the door checking our bags, to the security types by the stage.

The stage is perfect, slightly raised you you won't have to do that weird head-bobbing thing when the tall person stands in front of you. Or, more annoyingly, the kissing couple. Hate them.

The gig was excellent, I danced about and an excellent time was had. The photographers get twenty minutes to take their snaps and then they're out of the way. The sound is good, the venue is friendly. At the end of the gig, the security people handed out (much needed) water to everyone at the front. Very nice touch indeed.

Sure, you still have to pay £2 for a teensy tiny plastic glass of diet Coke. I'm sure that sometimes this place could be up it's own ass, but I had an excellent time here last week, I'll be back.

I am rating one star because there is no chance to ret with zero.

I tried to get in yesterday night with two straight girfriends and 5 gay friends. The 3 of us -straight- couldn´t go in because "we are not members", even if 3 girls go there with gay mates they just want to discriminate you in a really rude way.

Positive discrimination is not the way, I think we are in 2011 where equal rights should be applied.

My recent visit to Heaven for a-ha's gig was the only time I've been there, so I don't really know what it's like for ordinary clubbing, but as a live music venue I have to say it's a bit pants.
I don't know if the club or the band's management or both were to blame for the timing, but the doors open time was 2 hours before the start of the performance (performance time was not specified on the tickets). During this long wait, no "warm-up" entertainment was provided other than some background music on autoplay.
Standing room only, we were packed like sardines trying to get somewhere close to the stage, whose height is insufficient to give vertically challenged audience members a decent view. Whatever air-conditioning they have was inadequate, and after a long while standing in those conditions I took a plastic carrier bag from my handbag because I thought I might need a sick bag: reaching the toilets in a hurry through that crowd would have been impossible. This was before the band even appeared.
When they did come on and start to play, it was like listening to a band in a church hall, but louder. If you're used to concerts in purpose-built auditoria, you're likely to find the acoustics here disappointing. The Royal Albert Hall it ain't (I went to a-ha's concert at the RAH 2 days later and the sound there was perfect).
The stage lighting, which I presume to be owned and operated by the venue, is brutal. Extremely bright white strobes should NEVER be pointed directly at the audience, and their excessive use is indefensibly cruel.
Drinks weren't cheap, but probably normal for central London: we paid £6 for a pint of lager and a pint of very cheap tasting lemonade. There is a cloakroom available where you can leave your stuff safely, £1.50 per item, so if you want to leave a coat and a bag, you could economise by taking a big enough bag in which to put your coat.
A-ha were great despite the unreasonable brevity of their set, but Heaven is unworthy to host such class acts.

PRO's - music, venue, price, special guest apperences

CON's - Some rude bar staff, very rude and obnoxious bar manager, overly strict door security Staff. Slight sense of ageism!!

If you are a young good looking male with a good body this is the place for you.
If you are past 30 and haven't been to the gym for a while - Don't bother!

I would like to remove the 1 star I have allocated to Heaven. My experiences there have never been heavenly. On the rare couple of occasions I have made it inside, I have actually had a couple of decent nights out (music is fun) but my overwhelming feeling towards this place is one of utter disgust at their reverse discrimination.

I am what one might describe as a lipstick lesbian and without fail, every time I have ever attempted to get in (after standing in the ridiculously long queue), I am scrutinised, quizzed on where I have been, where I like hanging out and basically ranked on their warped little scale of gayness. Sometimes I think that the only thing that will convince them is a live demonstration of something lewd on my girlfriend. Many of my friends have had the same thing happen to them.

It is so disappointing that a place like this, with the brand of GAY, can treat gay people and gay friendly people the way they do.

Don't bother. It will spoil your night if you don't get in. Try The Den on a Friday night for some hassle free, friendly gay fun.

I've been going to Heaven for years. I have to say that queueing on a Saturday night gets a bit of a bind, but I will be going to see Diana Vickers. So, I prefer to be there most Thursdays which has the right kind of vibe for me... hot, sweaty, touche-grinding, loud and deliciously up-close, with intimate and private-ish areas for those moments when you need to get personal. I must say however that I feel it the morning after... its that good! I recommend it particularly if you would like the potential to meet new friends or get to know old ones a little better.

MY RATEING IS 1* ONLY BECAUSE IT IS A MANDATERY FIELD

Well, what can i say about this venue…......NOT GOOD, i decided to go and check it out to see Britney Spears with a friend, the night started well we got our wrist bands at the G-A-Y before bar then as the G-A-Y club (Astoria) had closed we headed to the new venue HEAVEN we qued for 2 hours the bouncers couldnt cope with the ques or control them as there were people pushing in and getting away with it and after two hours in the cold and rain this becomes slighly annoyin, once inside the club i was shocked to see that the cloak room que was also huge (200m at least) upstairs AND down stairs!!!!! on each floor there were two toilets between thousands and we qued for this for about 30mins!!!!!! there was no management for anything it was pathetic who ever oraganised this event must have the vision and planning of a gold fish. The security was a joke i was threatend and nearly kicked in the face by a male in the club i asked the bar staff to get security and they panicked and couldnt help me!!!!??? (not trained well!!!!) finally i found a bouncer and he told me to wait in a certain place i was there for 10 mins when i saw him again only for him to run past and nearly knock me off my feet so i had to leave it as it was more hassle to get help!!!! the stage for Britney was TINY and so was the place for fans unlike ASTORIA, we were crushed people were passing out. after two hours the management decided to tell us Britney will not come out and made a poor attempt of moveing the crowds back it was a JOKE!!!!!!!!!!! i dont blame britney for not wanting to perform in this pathetic small bad managed place, who the hell organised this i dont know but they need the SACK!!!!!!!!!! sorry for the essay but believe me i could go on…....this is a brief insight!!!!!!
if britney ever came back to perform in HEAVEN i will not attend even though i am a No1 fan!

Heaven is a superclub spread over three floors, the main floor where they play a variety of house/ techno/electro synth, the second floor playing urban stuff and the top floor playing cheesey pop and camp classics.
I had a great night here dancing with my friends, there are plenty of hot guys here to dance shoulder to shoulder with and some very dirty dancing going on especially on the second floor!!
As a gay guy I can honestly say the plcae trulydid live up to it’s name although the hangover I suffered after stumbling out of the club at 5am was anything but heavenly!!

so, heaven… cant say i’ve been there on anything but a Bedrock night which may skew my opinion of the venue. I first went to the place on a whim in 2003(ish) to see digweed and sander klienenberg, i went for the next 13 bedrocks after. The venue is brilliant, lots of little rooms hidden here and there and the new soundshaft looks awesome, although i do think its lost a bit of of its original appeal…. dirty london club ;)
in short, if your at a loose end and fancy a boogie in one of londons top clubs, get your touche down there!! good stuff!! i’m sure i’ll be back soon :)
Eddie.

Heaven also does straight nights! I went to see Rennie Pilgrem and a whole load of other breakbeat djs here with my girlfriend and we had the best night ever. Plenty of rooms, great soundsystem and everyone was having a good one

Heaven oh Heaven...

Interesting club indeed, perhaps because I didnt realize it was a gay club until I actually got in.
I must say though, if I was a gay guy I would have truely felt like I was in heaven. The place was PACKED with fun and energetic butch/ not so butch- men.
The bartender was definitely not being cheap on the drinks. After 2 drinks, I apparently showed some obvious affects of alcohol haha.
As a straight girl, I had as much fun on Heaven as I normaly do at any other club.
The music was not really my taste. The DJ played LOADS of Techno, however it was fun seing topless guys dancing away with their light sticks.

Pro's: Good Laugh, very nice drinks, cool light effects, good air

Con's: No variation in music, difficult to locate

PS. GIRLSS....dont get offended if you get hit on by a guy who might think you are a drag queen.....or maybe that was just a 1 time with my pink dress :s....any who..have fun in Heaven

Even though I am not gay, this is one of the best clubs i have ever been to. Its hidden away, and you need to know a few people to get in. At first it looks quite small but you go and open another door and its like being somewhere totally different. I got in free so im not sure on the price so i dont think any more than a tenner. Saturday nights are the best! The crowd is live. The music is wicked. What more could you ask for?

This is probably one of the most popular gay nightclub in London. It is situated right in th West End so is always heaving with people, mostly drag queens and horny gay men. Its great. It is very big, with three floors, different kind of music each floor, ranging from dance, R n B, to the more cheesy tunes. The bar is expensive as is any in the center of London, but it's always a fun place to go with your mates (group of girlies or guys!) Only go here if you can handle lots of kissing, touching and dancing till early morning. I got free tickets to go here, but it's usually normally london nightclub prices, probably around £10-15.. i know way too expensive. But kind of worth it!